Cvikla s Chrenom - Beet and Horseradish Relish

Beet and Horseradish are two roots that make a great relish for the Slovak Easter ham (much like cranberry sauce with turkey for Thanksgiving). There is a similar relish used for the Passover lamb but it has a higher horseradish/beet ratio. It's best to start this recipe a couple days before serving so you have time to adjust the horseradish to taste. This recipe is really simple. You will need:

Beets (see below)
Horseradish (see below)
White vinegar
1 Tbsp. brown sugar
1/2 tsp. salt

(I apologize for my horrible photography skills. Please pretend this 

is a beautiful bowl of grated beet relish, not a steak or 

something/someone else that found its way through the wood chipper)

Beets: For an authentic taste, you will use 2 beets. Peel them, cut off the stem, chop into 2-inch cubes, and boil for 30-40 mins. Drain and finely grate or run through a food processor. Set aside. You can use 14 oz. pickled beets instead and skip the boiling process, but it won't taste quite as good as fresh beets.

Horseradish: The prevailing rule here is to add horseradish to taste. There are three ways to prepare the horseradish.

• The easiest is to buy a prepared minced horseradish in a jar. When using this kind, make sure you add about 1/2 cup horseradish for every 2 cups of beets. 

• A more authentic way is to zest raw horseradish root. Add 2 Tbsp. to the recipe, let sit overnight, then decide whether to add more. The potency of raw horseradish varies widely but you might want to add up to 3/4 cup for every 2 cups of beets.

• Finally, you can peel the horseradish root, boil it, then zest it or grate it in the food processor. This will mellow out the flavor a bit, so you will want about 1 cup horseradish per 2 cups beets.

Mix all the ingredients together with about 1-2 Tbsp. vinegar if you used pickled beets, and 1/3-2/3 cups if you used fresh beets. Cover and chill overnight. I recommend adding half the vinegar when you first make it, then add the rest a day later if it needs more. Serve with ham and deviled eggs and be sure not to stain your clothes.

Tvaroh - Soft Cheese Curds

Tvaroh tastes like a very mild quark cheese and has a consistency similar to quark. If you haven't had quark cheese, it's like a firm cottage cheese. Rarely eaten on its own, it's delicious as a filling for pastries and other desserts, or crumbled on french toast in the morning. If you have never made your own cheese before, this is a great place to start.

You will need:

Spoiled Milk
Cheese cloth (I used a handkerchief) and a strainer

That's it. This is really easy.

Not all kinds of milk work. Sometimes, heavily homogenized milk particles are too small for the straining process. I had the most success with organic whole milk. The higher the fat content, the more tvaroh will be rendered (1.5 cups per gallon of whole milk).

Let the milk spoil. You can do this by leaving it on the porch for a few days in the summer heat, or leaving it in the fridge for a couple months.

Now, boil the milk. Be careful, because it might boil over easily, but you want it thoroughly heated to kill any dangerous bacteria.

Let the milk cool or pour it warm into a strainer lined with the cheesecloth. It will take a while for all the whey to filter out. Close the cloth and wring it out. The tighter you wring it, the drier/firmer the cheese will be. Let cool and crumble or mix into other ingredients. This freezes well if you want to use smaller portions at a time.

Obložené Chlebíčky - Open Face Sandwiches

These open-face sandwiches are a summer staple and come in many varieties. They are great for entertaining as a snack or as a stand-alone meal. You can use baguettes or some Slovak potato bread.

You will need (as a meal for 2:

Bread slices - 3 per person as a meal, less as a snack.
1 Vlašský  Šalát (Slovak Potato Salad) recipe
cucumber slices
1-2 sliced tomatoes
2 sliced hard boiled eggs
parsley to garnish

Place some of the potato salad on the slices of bread. Then place cucumber, tomatoes, eggs, and parsley on top. Garnish with leftover cucumber and tomato and serve leftover potato salad as a side.

Another less-heavy variation is to use a couple smoked ham and salami slices instead of the potato salad. If you do this, be sure to put something sticky on the bread, like a butter or cheese spread. Other variations include endless combinations of meats (usually ham) and cheeses (especially gouda or edam).

Vlašský Šalát - Potato Salad

This Slovak Potato Salad is really easy. Used on Obložené Chlebíčky or as a stand-alone side dish.

You will need:

1 mashed potato

2-3 oz. smoked deli ham

1/2 cup peas

2 Tbsp. pickle juice

1/2 cup mayo

salt and pepper to taste

Mix all ingredients together and refrigerate.

Zemiakový Chlieb - Potato Bread

This is a heavy and firm potato bread, perfect for Obložené Chlebíčky (Open Face Sandwiches) or as a side to Stuffed Peppers or most other dishes as an alternative to bread dumplings. It cuts beautifully and has a strong potato flavor. Most recipes include the following ingredients: Mashed Potatoes, Water, Flour, Yeast, Sugar, and Salt. Many recipes add an egg, butter, or oil. 

This recipe is one I derived from a combination of different Slovak and Russian recipes that best emulates the Zemiakový Chlieb found in most Slovak bakeries. It's always a work in progress so as I find a better combination I will update. 

You will need:

1/3 cup milk
1 tbsp powdered sugar
1 tbsp. yeast
1 1/2 large russet potatoes mashed (2 cups mashed potatoes)
3-4 cups flour
1 tbsp oil
1 egg
1 tsp salt

Cook potatoes. I usually do this by boiling the potatoes for 30 mins, then running over cool water.  The skin comes right off in this process. 

Heat milk to 105-110 degrees and add sugar and yeast. Let sit for about 10 mins while adding egg, oil, salt, and potatoes to a separate bowl. Add yeast mixture and half the flour. Mix and gradually add the rest of the flour. Dough is ready when you can grab it without it sticking to your hands. Grease a bowl, cover, and put in a warm place (I turn the oven on for 30 seconds, turn it off, and put the bowl in the oven). Let rise for 1-2 hours, allowing more time for cooler places and less for warmer. 

Knead dough and form a long loaf about 6 inches in diameter. Place loaf on top of a little cornmeal on a cookie sheet and bake at 375 degrees for 40-45 mins. Loaf will sound hollow when tapped. If not, bake another 5-10 mins. 

Immediately place on cooling rack. Slice and serve after allowing to cool for 10-15 mins. Will keep for a week or more.

Plnené Papriky - Stuffed Peppers

Who doesn't like stuffed peppers? This is a Slovak dish borrowed from Hungary. It's one of my favorites and one of the easiest dishes you will ever make. It makes great leftovers.  This one is adapted from a book I like to use. It's a great resource for Slovak cooking but is keyed to the English market and some of the ingredients are hard to find in the U.S. This recipe is for 4 servings.

You will need:

1-2 peppers per person (see note on peppers)
1 yellow onion
3 Tbsp. oil
1 - 1.5 lbs. ground pork (see note on pork)
1 1/2 cups white rice
2 eggs
1 cup breadcrumbs
2 Tbsp. flour
1 tsp. paprika (I add 2)
14 oz. tomato paste (alternatively 1.5 pounds fresh pureed tomatoes and subtract 3 cups water later)
3 Tbsp. powdered sugar
2 bay leaves (or 1 tsp. crushed)
1 tsp. marjoram
salt and ground black pepper

Serve with Dumplings, sliced rye bread, or boiled potatoes, and side salad.

Disclaimer: I wrote and tested this recipe at an elevation of 500 ft. I tried it again at 5,300 ft. at it was a disaster. If cooking at a higher elevation, use 1/2 cup less rice and cook an extra 20 mins.

Choosing Peppers - Have you ever seen large Anaheim peppers? You only need one pepper of that size per person.  However, smaller peppers will be easier to serve and will offer more pepper flavor. Anaheims are probably the most readily available peppers in the U.S., but Hungarian wax peppers are probably the best. I know for a fact that Hy-Vee will special order wax peppers upon request for a very reasonable price. Either way, choose a pepper according to your taste. On a 1-10 scale of spiciness, the wax peppers do not even register, as they have lots of flavor but no spice. Anaheims would be a 3-4. Jalapenos would be a 7. Serranos are about 9, and habaneros at 10. Having been raised in San Antonio, TX, I prefer my dish has at least 1-2 stuffed jalapenos in the mix to add a little kick to the dish while still remaining true to the Slovak and Hungarian style.

Choosing Ground Pork - the pork will not be drained in this cooking process.  Depending on your taste, that will not matter. I prefer leaner dishes, so find the lowest fat content possible because you will be ingesting all of it.

Cooking with Paprika - most Americans do not know this, but paprika is simply the Hungarian and Slovak word for a pepper. It is made of ground and dried Hungarian peppers. It's true flavor is activated when added to a hot oil (such as bacon grease or cooking oil). Sometimes this causes an instant bubbling reaction in the pan and is no cause for alarm.

Cut off the tops of the peppers and remove seeds to the extent possible.

Fry the onion in 1 Tbsp. oil until golden.

In a bowl, mix pork, 2 tsp. salt, 1 tsp. black pepper, cooked onion, rice, eggs, and breadcrumbs.

Stuff the peppers with the meat. Make meatballs with any leftover meat.

Add 2 Tbsp. oil and 2 Tbsp. flour to a 4-6 quart pot that you can cover. If you are using the same pan as the onion, please rinse first as this will get very hot and burn onion residue. Make a nice peanut butter colored roux, then add the paprika. Mix quickly, then add 4 cups water and 14 oz. tomato paste (or 1.5 lbs. fresh pureed tomatoes with one cup water). Add 1-2 tsp. salt and the powdered sugar.

Add bay leaves and marjoram, then boil sauce. Add peppers and meatballs, cooking on medium heat for 30 mins and simmering for 15. Add water if necessary to maintain similar sauce consistency as spaghetti sauce or marinara.

Plate with side or eat as a stand-alone dish. Great leftover.

Sviečková - Roast Beef and Creamy Root Vegetable Sauce

It helps to think of this dish in two ways. First, it is a traditional roast beef, dumplings, and sauce dish. Second, and more importantly, the sauce for this dish is versatile and can be used in many dishes. I will first give instructions for the dish itself, then briefly describe the variations you can use with the sauce. This recipe renders 4 servings.

If you are preparing the traditional dish, be sure to start marinating a couple days before you want to eat. If you are just making a variation with the sauce, marinating is nice but not as necessary, so you could start the day of serving.

You will need:

1 beef rump roast (1 1/2 - 2 pounds)

A few slices of bacon (see bacon shopping tips here in section III)

4 large peeled carrots

2 peeled parsnips (some companies cover them in wax. Make sure it's all removed)

1/2 peeled celery root (2-3 stalks celery will do if you can't find celery root)

1 yellow onion

1/2 cup white vinegar (or try 1/4 cup vinegar and 1/4 cup white cooking wine)

1 whole bay leaf (or 1/2 tsp. crushed bay leaves)

1 whole allspice berry (or 1/4 tsp. ground allspice)

1/2 tsp. ground black pepper

4 Tbsp. butter (1/2 stick)

1/4 - 1/2 cup flour (depending on desired thickness of sauce)

1 tsp. powdered sugar

1 cup heavy cream (or use half and half or whole milk depending on how rich you want it)

1 Bread Dumpling recipe

garnishes traditionally include cranberry jam, lemon slices, and whipped cream (I don't use these, the dish speaks for itself).

Traditional Dish

Cut small grooves into the roast and insert bacon strips inside. Hold the grooves closed with cooking twine.

Chop onion, carrot, celery root, and parsnips. Bring to boil in 4-6 quart pot filled with 6 cups water. Add vinegar, pinch of salt, and spices (bay leaf, allspice, and black pepper). Turn off the heat and let it cool (will normally take a couple hours to cool completely). Place roast and vegetable broth in bowl or pot together and marinate in refrigerator until day you want to eat. Allow 12-48 hours to marinate. 

Remove from refrigerator and remove any whole spices if possible. You can cook the roast one of two ways:

1. Slow Cooker/Crock Pot (easy and preferred): Melt half the butter in saucepan and brown roast. Add roast and drippings to slow cooker. Melt the rest of the butter in the same pan and fry the drained vegetables (save the stock!) for a few mins, then add to slow cooker with 4 cups of saved stock. Cook on high for 4 hours or low for 6 hours. The roast will fall apart when completed this way because it will be very tender.
2. Simmer (traditional and results in sturdier slices of meat instead of creating a roast that will fall apart): Same method except place meat back into pan after vegetables are done. Add 4 cups of saved stock. Cover and simmer for 90 mins - 2 hours. Add more stock if necessary.

When the meat is done, remove it at let it rest while you finish the sauce. 

If you are cooking dumplings, you should start boiling them at this point.

To finish the sauce, use blender, food processor, or masher (food processor results in best consistency) to puree everything left in the pan (except the meat of course). Put the sauce back in the pan and add the flour and cream. Bring to a simmer. Add sugar and 1 Tbsp. vinegar or cooking wine. 

Slice the meat and plate. Pour sauce over meat. Serve with dumplings and garnish as desired.

Variations

This sauce is delicious. I have tried it with pork chops and chicken as well.  If you don't have as much time to cook, feel free to cook the vegetables and broth for 30-45 mins while pan-frying some pork or chicken separately. 

If you want a good cranberry sauce recipe to serve with this dish, try this: Blend in food processor 1 bag cranberries, 2 red apples, and 1 whole orange with peel. Mix in 2 Tbsp. lemon juice and 1 cup sugar. Let sit in refrigerator for one week (any less and it's disgusting). Serve with this dish as an accent flavor and save leftovers for Thanksgiving or any other time.  Freezes very well.

Knedliky - Bread Dumplings

In Czech and Slovak cooking, there are two main kinds of dumplings: bread and potato. Bread dumplings are much more common and are traditional for meat and sauce dishes. They will be light and spongy and will soak up the sauces of an entree nicely.

There are many ways to prepare these dumplings, but there are a few main things to keep in mind. First, make sure your yeast is activated and rising nicely. Second, find the right dough consistency. Third, find a way to keep them from getting too soggy while boiling and to let them dry off properly when done.

You will need:

1 cup milk

3 Tbsp. yeast

1 tsp. powdered sugar

1/2 - 2/3 cup breadcrumbs (or 2 chopped dinner rolls)

1 egg

pinch  of salt

3 cups flour

First, heat 1 cup milk to about 105-110 degrees. This will feel hot but not too hot to keep a finger in for 10 seconds. This makes a perfect home for the yeast. Pour the milk into a bowl or large cup (16 oz. volume or more). Add a teaspoon of powdered sugar to feed the yeast. Now add 3 Tablespoons of yeast.  That is not a typing error, you need lots of yeast to make the dough rise correctly. Stir them all together and let it rise while you mix the next set of ingredients. It should make a froth that foams from the milk all the way to the top of the cup if the yeast is activated correctly. Try again if it doesn't work, as the dumplings will not turn out well if the yeast is not activated.

In another bowl, mix about 1/2 - 2/3 cup breadcrumbs with an egg. You can also use a couple chopped rolls instead of breadcrumbs. Add the yeast mixture, 3 cups of flour, and a pinch of salt. Once the dough is fully mixed it should clean off the sides of the bowl but still be a little sticky. Place in a greased covered bowl. Leave in a warm place for 1 1/2 - 2 hours, or until the dough doubles in size.

Start some boiling water (fill a 6-quart pot half or 2/3 full). Knead the dough and then divide in half. You can form each half into an oval or a sphere (doesn't matter). There are a couple ways to proceed from here. For convenience, you can cover the shaped dough for 15 mins to let it rise again and then boil it, or you can wrap it in a cheese cloth, tying it off at the ends, let it sit for 15 mins, then boil it. They tend to turn out better in the cloth, but without the cloth it can be a little soggy but otherwise tastes the same.

Boil for 15 mins total, turning them over halfway through.  Once removed from the water, take off the cloth immediately (if applicable) and set it on a cutting board to dry. Stab it everywhere with a fork or knife immediately to let out the steam. Then you cut it into 1/2-inch slices. You can do this with a knife or with a string. Once it has drained off (usually 1-2 mins), go ahead and place on saucers if serving immediately. If not, place in a cloth-lined bowl covered until ready to serve.

Vepřo-Knedlo-Zelo - Roast Pork with Cabbage and Dumplings

This is the Czech national dish.  I had it many times in Slovakia as well. As the name indicates, there are three main components to this dish: (1) Vepřo - Roast Pork, (2) Knedlo - Dumpling, and (3) Zelo - Cabbage. 

There are many variations to this, but you usually need the following for 4 people:

1 pork roast (traditionally a pork loin joint, but I use a leaner pork sirloin tip roast plus a smoked hock for flavor)
3-4 Tbsp. caraway seeds
2 yellow onions
3 cloves garlic
2 Tbsp. butter
Salt and Pepper (have a decent amount on hand)
1 Tbsp. vegetable or canola oil
16 oz. sauerkraut
2 tsp. powdered sugar
3 Tbsp. dry yeast (not a typo, that's really how much yeast you need)
3 cups flour
1 egg
1/2-2/3 cup breadcrumbs (or two dinner rolls)

Procedure:

1. Set roast out to thaw for 8-12 hours if frozen
2. Begin preparing roast as outlined in Part I, leave in slow cooker
3. Prepare dough in Part II and leave to rise
4. Prepare cabbage in Part III and leave to simmer
5. Start heating water to boil (6-quart pot half full is optimal, add a little salt to the water)
6. Continue with Part II and finish dumplings
7. Continue with Part III and finish cabbage
8. Slice roast and place on plate with cabbage, drench in pork drippings, and plate dumplings on separate saucers to keep them all from getting soggy. Serve with pickles, radishes, or something else light, as this is a very heavy meal.

I. Vepřo - Roast Pork

As previously stated, this is traditionally a pork loin joint. It's a very fatty but flavorful cut. I don't like that much fat on my meat so I use the leaner pork sirloin tip roast and add a smoked hock in the slow cooker for flavor.

After thawing, coat the pork in 2 Tbsp. caraway seeds. Salt and pepper generously.  Prepare a slow cooker by starting heat and adding 1 cup water (2 cups for a lean roast). Melt 2 Tbsp. butter in a pan and brown the pork for a few minutes.  Once it is brown, place it in the slow cooker with pan drippings.  Add one whole onion halved and two garlic cloves (I brown these in the pan as well). Add smoked hock if desired. Leave for 4 hours on high or 6 hours on low.

If you do not want to use a slow cooker, you can follow the same procedure but roast in the oven in a roasting pan, following normal cooking instructions for an oven-roasted pork roast of that size. 

II. Knedlo - Dumpling

Dumplings are a staple for this dish so the post about dumplings and its ingredients are included here for convenience.

In Czech and Slovak cooking, there are two main kinds of dumplings: bread and potato. Bread dumplings are much more common and are traditional for this dish. They will be light and spongy and will soak up the pork and cabbage juices nicely.

There are many ways to prepare these dumplings, but there are a few main things to keep in mind. First, make sure your yeast is activated and rising nicely. Second, find the right dough consistency. Third, find a way to keep them from getting too soggy while boiling and to let them dry off properly when done.

First, heat 1 cup milk to about 105-110 degrees. This will feel hot but not too hot to keep a finger in for 10 seconds. This makes a perfect home for the yeast. Pour the milk into a bowl or large cup (16 oz. volume or more). Add a teaspoon of powdered sugar to feed the yeast. Now add 3 Tablespoons of yeast.  That is not a typing error, you need lots of yeast to make the dough rise correctly. Stir them all together and let it rise while you mix the next set of ingredients. It should make a froth that foams from the milk all the way to the top of the cup if the yeast is activated correctly. Try again if it doesn't work, as the dumplings will not turn out well if the yeast is not activated.

In another bowl, mix about 1/2 - 2/3 cup breadcrumbs with an egg. You can also use a couple chopped rolls instead of breadcrumbs. Add the yeast mixture, 3 cups of flour, and a pinch of salt. Once the dough is fully mixed it should clean off the sides of the bowl but still be a little sticky. Place in a greased covered bowl. Leave in a warm place for 1 1/2 - 2 hours, or until the dough doubles in size.

Start some boiling water (fill a 6-quart pot half or 2/3 full). Knead the dough and then divide in half. You can form each half into an oval or a sphere (doesn't matter). There are a couple ways to proceed from here. For convenience, you can cover the shaped dough for 15 mins to let it rise again and then boil it, or you can wrap it in a cheese cloth, tying it off at the ends, let it sit for 15 mins, then boil it. They tend to turn out better in the cloth, but without the cloth it can be a little soggy but otherwise tastes the same.

Boil for 15 mins total, turning them over halfway through.  Once removed from the water, take off the cloth immediately (if applicable) and set it on a cutting board to dry. Stab it everywhere with a fork or knife immediately to let out the steam. Then you cut it into 1/2-inch slices. You can do this with a knife or with a string. Once it has drained off (usually 1-2 mins), go ahead and place on saucers if serving immediately. If not, place in a cloth-lined bowl covered until ready to serve.

III. Zelo - Cabbage

The "Zelo" in this dish is pickled (i.e., sauerkraut) but don't let that scare you away.  This method of cooking really tames the cabbage.  Heat 1 Tbsp. oil and 1 Tbsp. flour in the pan and cook into a light roux (2 mins). Add a diced onion and cook for about 10 mins. Add the sauerkraut, 1-2 Tbsp. caraway seeds, and some salt and pepper. Add a teaspoon of sugar and 4 cups of water. Leave this to simmer for about 40 mins (be sure all the liquid doesn't boil away).

Serve on the plate with the pork.


****UPDATE 10/28/2014****

I recently tried the recipe with potatoes instead of dumplings (time limitations) and it went splendidly. I simply added potatoes to the crock pot with leftover vegetable broth from the previous week's sviečková. The potatoes were saturated with flavor and did not need additional seasoning.

Another trick I used to get more flavor out of the pork: split it. I cut it in half to maximize seared surface area before adding into the crock pot (essentially two small roasts from one). It had much more flavor than in past versions.

Slovak Salad

This one is a quick and easy go-to side dish for picnics, barbecues, potlucks, and any dish that might have a heavy taste and needs a palate cleanser.

Many dishes would fit under the title "Slovak Salad," but this one is easy and versatile. I was frequently served this dish with Rezen (Czech/Slovak schnitzel) and Halusky. Think of it as a fresh salad with a pickled flavor.

You will need (for 4 servings):
2 cucumbers
2 medium tomatoes (any kind will do, the fresher the better)
1/2 white or yellow onion
1/2 - 1 cup white vinegar
2 tsp. garlic salt
1/2 tsp. ground black pepper

Procedure:

1. Grate cucumbers on a normal grater (peeling beforehand is optional)
2. Finely grate onion and add to cucumber
3. Dice tomatoes (1/2-inch cubes at largest) and add to mixS
4. Add vinegar, garlic salt, and black pepper
5. Stir, cover, and refrigerate before serving.  Best when eaten within 4 hours of preparation.

Bryndzové Halušky - Potato Dumplings with Sheep Cheese and Bacon

What better way to start a Slovak cooking blog than with the most iconic (and arguably most delicious) Slovak dish? Bryndzové Halušky literally means "Potato Dumplings with Bryndza (soft sheep cheese)." For those who have struggled to find bryndza or a proper substitute in the United States, search no more.

There are three main components to this dish; Potato Dumplings, Bryndza Cheese, and Bacon. I will first give an overview of the ingredients and process, then give plenty of options and guidance for each part of the dish to accommodate many cooking styles and tastes.

You will need (assuming 4 people):

Dumplings:
4-6 potatoes (Russet is nice but any kind will do)
2 eggs
1/2 cup milk
2-4 cups all-purpose flour
lots of boiling water in a big pan

Cheese:
4-7 oz. fresh goat cheese
6-8 oz. quark cheese
1/2 cup milk (optional)

1 pound double-smoked bacon

Serve with:
salt and pepper
sour cream (8 oz. should be more than plenty)
sparkling water, diet soda (regular has strange taste with this dish), or Kofola
Slovak Salad (grated or sliced cucumber, onion, and tomato topped with garlic salt, pepper, and copious amounts of white vinegar)

Basic Procedure:

1. Make Slovak Salad for side, refrigerate
2. Cube bacon and put in pan, but do not start heat
3. Begin cheese-melting process in part II and stir periodically
4. Start boiling water for dumplings
5. Begin grating potatoes and make dough in part I
6. Start heat on bacon and watch/stir as you complete step 7, turn off heat when done
7. Cook dumplings as outlined in part II
8. If noodles have cooled quite a bit, microwave bowl for a minute or so
9. Stir cheese into noodles
10. Add 1 to 1 1/2 cups of the cooking water into the cheese/noodle mix. Subtract for milk added to cheese mix.
11. Add bacon (and half or all of the bacon grease if you really want to be adventurous)
12. Serve in bowls, top with sour cream, salt, and pepper

I. Potato Dumplings

The potato dumplings can be one of the trickiest parts of this dish, but once you get used to it and know what to avoid, it's not so bad.

The first trick is to finely grate the peeled potatoes.  They may turn brown at this stage and that's okay. You don't need to zest them, but they do need to be finer than a standard large-strand cheese grater. An alternative here is to use potato flakes and rehydrate them into normal potatoes, then follow the rest of the process as usual.

Trust me, the grating is a more authentic taste but reconstituted dried potatoes are much less work.

From here, you add one egg per 2-3 people. Also add a little milk (1 Tbsp. per person). Between the egg, milk, and the water from the potatoes, you have a very wet mash.

Here is where it gets tricky: to maintain the right consistency, add flour until your stirring implement will stand up straight when left in the dough.

I know that's ambiguous, but it really is a consistency thing and cannot be measured precisely.  A rough estimate is 1/2 cup of flour per person to start out, adding up to another half of that amount to attain the proper consistency.  This is somewhere between a batter and a bread dough.  Remember, it must be viscous enough to drip through the holes of the haluskar. If you don't have a haluskar, try cutting the pieces like this video. You can also follow any spaetzle recipe using a spaetzle maker and it will taste similar if this seems like too much work.

Now that you have the dough completed, it's time to cook the noodles.  This part is very important if you don't want to be eating a starchy goop. Use a large pot and fill it 1/2 to 2/3 full of water.  A 6-quart pot or larger is optimal. Make sure the water is boiling and add a little salt (2 Tbsp.) for flavor. You want to keep the temperature of the water relatively high.  If you cook all your noodles at once, the water will turn goopy. Fill the haluskar with dough and coax it to drip out the bottom by stirring with a spoon or fork. Cook the noodles one haluskar load at a time (1-2 cups), let the water return to a boil, let all the noodles float to the top, wait another 20 seconds, then take them out with a slotted spoon. Briefly run in a strainer under cold water (makes them firmer) and set in the serving bowl. Repeat for all the noodles. If your water gets gooey, wait a minute for it to regain its temperature.

II. Bryndza Cheese

Bryndza is hard to find in the United States if not impossible.  I have even tried Serbian Bryndza from a Russian market in Idaho, but it just isn't the same as the Liptov bryndza or anything else you can find in Slovakia. Thankfully, I have tried many different combinations and found a flavor equivalent:

Goat and Quark

The blend of a soft goat cheese with quark cheese provides a flavor and consistency nearly identical to that of bryndza.  I found a goat cheese at Costco here but most fresh goat cheeses will work. Quark cheese can be harder to find, but is readily available in the Midwest at most supermarkets with a significant cheese selection. If you cannot find quark, just use this combo: (two parts fresh goat cheese, one part feta, one part milk). Without fresh goat cheese, I have seen many recipes that call for a blend of cream cheese, feta, cottage cheese, and milk, although I don't think the flavor is even close enough to bryndza to count.  You might as well use cheddar or something else because it won't taste authentic.

Plan on around 1-2 oz. of total cheese per person (this can vary widely and still achieve delicious results). I tend to use about 5 oz. of fresh goat cheese with a 7 oz. package of quark for 4-6 people.

I heat the cheese in a glass bowl by setting the bowl over a pot of heated water (almost boiling).  Once the cheese is fully melted and blended together, it is ready to pour over the noodles. You can also add a little milk to the melted cheese for a thinner consistency. Microwaving is also an option if you want to speed up the process, just try not to burn the cheese.

III. Bacon

This part is the easiest. The key is the flavor and the consistency. You want hardwood-smoked bacon, not the cheap stuff. The right kind of bacon will cost between $4.50 and $8.00 per pound or more. You will want about 1 pound per four people as a minimum (1 pound per two people is especially delicious). In Iowa, I have found that the Village Meat Market & Cafe in the Cedar Rapids Czech Village has delicious double-smoked bacon for about $7.50/lb. 

After you have purchased the bacon, you will want to dice it into 1/2-inch cubes or smaller.  Dicing is easier if the meat is frozen or semi-frozen.  

While preparing the other ingredients, go ahead and cook the bacon (covered pans are handy) on high until it is crispy but not quite burned. Be aware that it will cook a little more (equivalent of 30 seconds or one minute on heat) in its own fat after you turn off the heat.

Also be aware that the bacon, if added to noodles before the cheese, will collect much of the cheese and adversely affect the consistency.  Add at the very end and mix very little if at all (many Slovak restaurants simply top the halusky with bacon).